Ode to Serco

Schools, computers and student reporting, ha? A little ditty, I wrote and sent by email to a colleague. I mentioned SERCO, the supposed wonderful school management/student reporting system. All, in good humour, I hope, but summarises how educators under pressure are made to feel now and then.

Ode to Serco

SERCO's sometimes complex, sometimes it's all wrong.

Sometimes it’s just erratic, though I'm often told "Hold On!"

A little error nagged us, so Dave and I one night -

Stayed back a little longer, and we thought that fixed it right -

But the bug came back, the very next day

We thought there was no danger

The bug came back; was here to stay

And came back even stranger

5B and A were fixed, I thought

And 5C in its place

But when I looked at SERCO,

It laughed right back at my face.

"You thought you fixed me, didn't you?"

"You thought you'd make me tame?"

"You thought I'd just run out of tricks"

"But I've a better game."

"Try this - I have some random names"

"Try this, I have a class."

"That doesn't match to what you thought."

"I love a little laugh."

So, when I look to Numeracy, and see a list of names,

That's not to be, supposed to be, it's like a losing game.

So here I am, Dear Mr Jones, back to the square called one.

And whilst I hope, you liked this rhyme, reports are just not fun.

I’m hoping that you’ll tame this beast, that’s making life a pain

And next time when I write you Sir, my will is once again

Restored to where it ought to be, you know just what I mean

It’s hard to smile, be on good show, when deep inside you scream.