Vindication Part II

... continued from previous post ...

The day before the school received the call that Ofsted were going to be in, I stayed in school - much to my own surprise - until pretty much close to 10pm. I made sure that my copying, printing and planning was done, that my room looked tidy and organised and that my displays were fresh and vibrant. Had I chosen to leave at 3.45pm, I would have been well within my right to do so since I owe the school no more of myself. This has been a difficult year and the school have just about fully absolved themselves of me. Institutions offer little loyalty to the individual. So why did I stay; why did I turn in all my reports, additional paperwork on time, and so on?

I'm not fully sure that I can pinpoint the exact reasons that I continued in the way that I did over the past few months. Professionalism, I guess. Remaining dignified and intact. Not letting the side down. All of those reasons, perhaps. Knowing that if I give positive energy, then those closest to me who receive my positive energy, will at some point give it back to me. Seems reasonable. Mostly, I'd stuck with my duties because it was the moral thing to do.

After the Management Team were briefed by the Inspectors, the headteacher came and sat next to me. She said that the Inspection Team had given my lesson a banding close to the 'Outstanding' category. I repeated that I felt I'd been exonerated thought ultimately I refuse to be enslaved to the opinions of those who like/don't like me personally. I'm not easily flattered and conversely, I refuse to be put down. Perhaps in saying so created an awkward moment for the head. I got the closest I would to hearing an apology and the past couple of days has been an attempt, I sense at damage repair.

The onus is on me to forgive and accept a type of rapprochement. Of course, it will never be publicly seen as a matter of apology and forgiveness - there are too many egos at stake, but for me it will never be the same. The politics within education is enough to turn one off. That sense of having been wronged will clearly now affect the decisions that I now make.

*for another view on school inspections read this

Vindication Part I

An Inspector Calls ... (Again)*

So there I was, sitting in the meeting with the Ofsted Inspector. He shuffled through his notes and as he did so, he said, "I'm going to say it as it is." He had written lots during the observation some hours earlier. My mind was prepared for any possibility, especially given recent events. The Inspector lifted his head and looked towards me. As I have said, just lately events have left me with mixed feelings. As it stands work has not been easy. Although I have been impeccably strong and focussed and I have managed to gain the respect of my colleague I will find myself at a crossroads in life, yet again attempting to manage the criticisms of others whilst avoiding falling into another year of financial deficit. I have put my trust in Allah and soldiered on. I have endured a year of this type of testing, but I am human and the private worries that so far I have kept entirely to myself, are beginning to surface. 

The Inspector continued, "You were Good. There was maximum learning and engagement in your class, a clear learning focus, excellent challenge and questioning. Your objectives were clear and you revisited them; you explained the success criteria and there was clear progression made throughout the lesson. You scaffolded learning very well. You had very good understanding of the subject. You built in clear next steps and your relationships with the children were excellent. I saw clear directions and full involvement. This was a very good lesson."

This was all rather surreal, I admit and whilst the Inspector spoke, I suddenly found myself reflecting on the conversation I'd had just some weeks before following an overcomplicated and unsuccessful re-interview. The five-stage process was to secure an extension on my existing contract. I am speaking here of a regular class teacher position - not some elevated position in leadership. The short version of what happened meant that I was left with a feeble excuse around being expensive to hire due to my experience. My panel interview, apparently had been the 'best' they'd 'ever had' however the school aimed towards attracting a new cheaper generation of good to outstanding teachers.

Strange indeed, but how this decision was arrived at has been rather complex. Throughout the first year in her position, the headteacher has remained under the influence of a rather dreadful School Improvement Officer. The latter who no doubt cuts a rather fetching fee for her 'advice', earlier on in the year had made a judgement about me. She was proved wrong following the Ofsted Inspection. Her awkwardness; not mine. I'm a rare visitor to the staff lounge, but today I went in and she evidently blanked me completely despite my attempts to join a wider conversation. I'm knowledgeable enough to recognise embarrassment in others and I'm tactful enough to not draw attention to it, though I have the right to not forget so easily.

The School Improvement Officer, I do not care about though quite honestly, I feel strongly that the headteacher and her deputy, had let me down. Remember, up until now, I had remained calm, courteous and did not react. I didn't engage with any negative conversations about the situation I'd been dropped in. The Inspector's assessment, however, had the potential to change this significantly.

*for another view on school inspections read this

Two Wolves

Cherokee Wisdom

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one that you feed."