Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Vindication Part II

... continued from previous post ...

The day before the school received the call that Ofsted were going to be in, I stayed in school - much to my own surprise - until pretty much close to 10pm. I made sure that my copying, printing and planning was done, that my room looked tidy and organised and that my displays were fresh and vibrant. Had I chosen to leave at 3.45pm, I would have been well within my right to do so since I owe the school no more of myself. This has been a difficult year and the school have just about fully absolved themselves of me. Institutions offer little loyalty to the individual. So why did I stay; why did I turn in all my reports, additional paperwork on time, and so on?

I'm not fully sure that I can pinpoint the exact reasons that I continued in the way that I did over the past few months. Professionalism, I guess. Remaining dignified and intact. Not letting the side down. All of those reasons, perhaps. Knowing that if I give positive energy, then those closest to me who receive my positive energy, will at some point give it back to me. Seems reasonable. Mostly, I'd stuck with my duties because it was the moral thing to do.

After the Management Team were briefed by the Inspectors, the headteacher came and sat next to me. She said that the Inspection Team had given my lesson a banding close to the 'Outstanding' category. I repeated that I felt I'd been exonerated thought ultimately I refuse to be enslaved to the opinions of those who like/don't like me personally. I'm not easily flattered and conversely, I refuse to be put down. Perhaps in saying so created an awkward moment for the head. I got the closest I would to hearing an apology and the past couple of days has been an attempt, I sense at damage repair.

The onus is on me to forgive and accept a type of rapprochement. Of course, it will never be publicly seen as a matter of apology and forgiveness - there are too many egos at stake, but for me it will never be the same. The politics within education is enough to turn one off. That sense of having been wronged will clearly now affect the decisions that I now make.

*for another view on school inspections read this

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